Scarecrow
by timeworn grace
Summary: Kurt volunteers.  Brittany "rescues" him.  Silly, fluffy stuff.


Written for a "Kurt Hummel needs a friend" prompt. We picked numbers, and I got Brittany!

Kurt Hummel always thought of himself as a _performer_ first. He held himself to very high professional standards.

He prided himself on the fact that no matter how bad his day had been, how small the part, how awful the costume (and there were some they had used in Glee club that made his skin itch just thinking about them), or how he felt about the music, the steps, or the people he was performing with - once he was on stage, he would give it his all. He might voice objections -sometimes strenuously- beforehand, but he _always _came through onstage.

He also craved the spotlight almost as much as Rachel Berry. If he had to settle for bit parts right now, so be it. It was all good experience.

So when he'd overheard the nurses in the cardiac unit talking about the annual Creepy Cornfield Maze they held just outside Columbus, to raise money for the American Heart Association, needing more volunteers to play wandering Creepy Characters, he immediately offered his services.

It was a cause he now felt strongly about. They'd done so much for him and his father, and he wanted to give something back.

He hadn't mentioned it to anyone but Mercedes, who would have come, but she was out of town. And Finn knew because their parents had been discussing going. (It wasn't particularly scary stuff, really, so Kurt had agreed that his dad could go - but he couldn't walk the maze yet.) No particular reason, really, it just hadn't come up. (He wasn't really feeling much like sharing with the group, lately).

And that was how he'd come to be here on a dark, cold October Saturday night.

He'd been asked to play guide to the cornfield maze, dressed as a scarecrow. He'd been more than happy to use the overalls and flannel shirt from "The Mellencamp Event" as the base of his costume, along with he trucker cap and the blue down vest. Work boots, white gloves, a bandanna at his throat. And of course , his bug broach for fabulousness. He'd brought his own makeup kit, not trusting his skin to the dubious quality of their cosmetics.

He'd based his performance on the classic scarecrow: Ray Bolger, from the Wizard of Oz, complete with loose-limbed pratfalls and confusing ad-libs. It was actually a lot of fun. He'd charmed small children, parents, and grandparents-and even managed to entertain most of the teens who'd been dragged along under duress- with his antics. It was easier to be silly, he found, under the makeup and costume. It had actually been really fun.

He'd been glad of the vest, too. It was chilly by nine o'clock as things started to wind down. The refreshment tent was starting to shut down; one of the girls, a shy twelve-year-old with braces and an obvious crush, had brought him one last cup of hot cider and a peanut butter cookie. She told him that there were only a couple of girls left to escort through the maze, and then he should come in and get cleaned up so he could go home.

He'd nearly choked on his cider when they'd come over. A tall girl with a blonde ponytail, and a shorter, dark-haired, stocky girl, both in McKinley High school jackets.

Brittany and Becky.

He couldn't help but grin to himself; maybe he could fool them, maybe they wouldn't recognize him at all. After all, it was pretty shadowy, the area illuminated only buy the flickering light of the fake torches and a few portable spotlights.

It went well at first. He went into his routine, flopping practically at Brit's feet as he stood to greet them, pretending to pull himself back to his feet with a hand behind his neck, and turned to lead them into the maze. But as he spun around with a smile and a bow with a flourish, gesturing them into the opening, the light must have hit his face and illuminated it fully.

Becky clapped her hands in delight. "Kurt!" she exclaimed. As she opened her mouth to continue, though, Brit shrieked, startling them both, and bolted. Into the maze.

Kurt and Becky exchanged baffled looks. "That girl needs a keeper," Becky muttered, and pulled out her phone to call her friend. When they heard the phone ring from only a few feet inside the maze, Kurt went to pick it up from the ground were Brittany had dropped it. He was about to go on after her when Becky grabbed his arm,giving him a withering stare. "She's scared of the scarecrow, I think," she told him, "do you think chasing her in that" she gestured at his costume, "is a good idea?"

Startled, he found himself nodding and stripping off the coat and flannel shirt, and handing them to Becky along with the trucker hat.

(While the image of a now-slightly-demented-looking scarecrow chasing a leggy blonde through a cornfield would have made him laugh aloud, somehow he was sure that it would not help him convince her it was safe to go with him when he found her. And might really scare other people, too.)

He couldn't do much about the makeup; his moist towelettes were in his bag, in the Navigator. "Wait here, in case she comes back this way. I know the maze pretty well now."

It wasn't a big maze, really, but it would be easy to blunder around in there for a good long while if you got confused. And there were other attractions in there. A couple of other performers, and some kind of spooky displays, all of which he was supposed to lead the customers around to. Nothing really too scary... but Brit was already spooked, for whatever reason.

He found her, finally, pretty near the center of the maze, in one of the side passages that just doubled back to the main path. She was standing there, trying to figure out which way to go; she seemed confused, but no longer scared. Still, he approached cautiously, not wanting her to run off again.

"Uh... Brittany?" He spoke softly, as if to a small child, and in his normal voice. "Are you ok?"

"Kurt!" She turned towards him, her face lighting up in a relieved smile. "I think I'm lost." She bounded over to him and took his arm, drawing him into her shadowy corner. "There's a scarecrow out there with your face! Did it trap you in the maze so it could pretend it was you? It was chasing me, are you ok?" Her words all came out in a breathless rush as she tugged on his arm harder. She still seemed really scared.

Momentarily, Kurt just could not find words, so he let her pull him to where there were a couple of hay bales, just in case some of their older "tourists" needed to sit for a few minutes. As they sat down, Brittany scrutinized his face suspiciously. "Are you really Kurt?" she demanded suddenly, and he remembered that he still had the scarecrow makeup on. Oops.

Thinking fast, he took off his gloves, and held out his hand to her. "Take my hand, Brittany. Scarecrow hands are all dry and rough. You know mine aren't." She did so, cautiously, and her face lit up again as she drew his hand to her bosom and stroked it like a it was a kitten. He had to suppress both a shake of the head and a little smile at her, well, Brittany-ness.

"Let's go, Brit," he said after a moment, trying to pull her to her feet again. It was getting cold; now that he wasn't running after her, he was shivering in his tee shirt. "Come on, it's chilly and Becky's waiting for you."

She shook her head. "You can't leave the maze, Kurt. Not with the scarecrow face - it's why you're trapped in here." Her fear for him was so genuine - and kind of touching - he couldn't make himself try to drag her out and upset her any more.

Besides, she was probably stronger than him, and she might well make an embarrassing scene.

Her logic, he thought, is not Earth logic. But he had to find a way to convince her that worked in Brittany-land. For a moment, he was at a loss for how to get her to come along. "Wait here," he said as an idea came to him. He was done for the night anyway. He pulled off his bandanna as he stood. "I'll be right back."

There were still a few of the other performers in the maze, packing up their accessories; finding someone with a bottle of water was no problem. He brought it back to Brittany. "You have to help me," he told her, handing her the bandanna. "I can't do it myself. You have to rescue me, by breaking the spell. Once the makeup is all gone, I'll be free to leave the maze."

It didn't take long - he was glad he had used a light touch for this. Brittany's hands were gentle, her touch deft and sure, so before he knew it, she was brushing his bangs back from his face and turning it from side to side to check and make sure she'd gotten it all. He opened his eyes and gave her his sunniest smile, and she grinned back. "There you are!" she exclaimed happily.

"Thank you, Brittany," he said, playing his part with a grin. "You saved me, and I'm very grateful." And froze in shock and dismay as she leaned in and kissed him, threading one hand through his hair to draw him closer.

It was all over before he could do much more than blink, though. When she let go of him and threaded her fingers through his, it was all he could do not to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. "What was _that _for?" he sputtered, because, _really_? She knew he was gay, they'd _had_ this talk...

She laughed at his expression, then kissed his cheek instead. "There's always a kiss at the end. Besides, I had to be sure it was really you." She snuggled against his side. "I knew it was you because you didn't like it. I like you, Kurt, but you're no fun to kiss. Don't worry though, you'll always be my best ex-boyfriend." She hopped up, pulled him to his feet and started along the path. "Come on, silly, you're freezing. You can buy me some hot chocolate. " He let her lead the way, a bemused smile playing across his face as they made their way out of the maze.


End file.
